Honest, no-nonsense video game reviews scored on our own Snout-o-Meter — two nostrils, zero fluff. If it stinks, we'll tell you before you buy it.
Our latest deep-dive reviews, played start to finish before we score a single nostril.
The best superhero show of the year is a video game. Ex-Telltale devs made the interactive TV format cinematic again, and the found-family writing lands every punch.
A cheap, scrappy Resident Evil 2 tribute with one real trick up its sleeve: you have fifteen minutes to live, and dying is how you learn the map. It wears its influences on its sleeve and its bugs on its face, but the loop makes failure feel like progress — a rare thing in the genre.
First impressions after twelve hours: the Assassin's Creed game that never was, finally real — a moody occult sleuth with a brilliant cat-familiar hook. Rough, unfinished, and shadowed by an AI-asset misstep, but genuinely promising.
Fresh verdicts. No embargoes, no free copies swaying the score.
A cheap, scrappy Resident Evil 2 tribute with one real trick up its sleeve: you have fifteen minutes to live, and dying is how you learn the map. It wears its influences on its sleeve and its bugs on its face, but the loop makes failure feel like progress — a rare thing in the genre.
First impressions after twelve hours: the Assassin's Creed game that never was, finally real — a moody occult sleuth with a brilliant cat-familiar hook. Rough, unfinished, and shadowed by an AI-asset misstep, but genuinely promising.
Frogwares trades the first game's open-world detective work for tight, Resident-Evil-flavored survival horror — and mostly nails it. The Lovecraftian dread is superb; the clunky combat and thin human drama are the cracks in the foundation.
A broken Early Access embarrassment reborn as one of 2026's most terrifying co-op experiences. The quiet, supply-starved dread is unmatched — held back only by weak gunplay and lingering technical jank.
First impressions after five hours: a gleefully grim 'sell hot dogs by day, source meat by night' sim with a killer PS1 aesthetic and a premise to match. The vibe is great — the horror and the story barely show up.
A dark-fantasy roguelike where your inventory IS your build — the loot-packing puzzle is genuinely brilliant, wrapped in gorgeous Blasphemous-flavored art. Undercut by shallow combat and some heavy-handed RNG.
A genuinely therapeutic cleaning loop buried under Early Access jank and an unanswered AI-content question. The foam is satisfying; almost everything around it needs another few months in the shop.
The gunplay still hits and the gore is glorious — but after nearly seven hours, this feels like a leaner, live-service-flavored shadow of Killing Floor 2. A solid Early Access launch wearing a full-price coat.
A Zachlike that teaches you to design real quantum algorithms without writing a line of code. Brilliant, gorgeous, and genuinely demanding — but it fights you as hard as its puzzles do.
The games that filled both nostrils. Our best-scored verdicts to date.
Two nostrils, filled based on what actually matters to the herd.
Mechanics, performance, and whether the thing works the way it was designed to.
How long the game keeps us in the pen after the credits could've rolled.
We buy our own copies. A publisher has never once touched a score on this site.
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